My Cardboard Robward

First things first, I absolutely must thank Rob's Girl for the
wonderfulness that is below. You see, we decided to spend a few
hours roaming around the mall, mostly because I just HAD to have
an Eclipse shirt. Well, while I was at Hot Topic with my little sis
buying us both shirts, Rob's Girl was at FYE checking out the Twi-Merch.
IT WAS OUR MUTHA FUCKIN' DAY!!
All New Moon merchandise happened to be 50% off in order
to make room for all the new Eclipse merchandise coming in.
What did my brilliant Rob's Girl do?
She bought the LAST TWO full-sized cardboard Robwards
for $14.99 each. She's brilliant, isn't she?
I love her.

So, once I got him home I made sure he went straight to work
on all the household chores because, obviously, I'm tired of doing it.
He wasn't too happy, but he did it anyway.

He kinda complained at first about doing the ironing,
but I did my best to help from my spot on the couch by
sending him a hanger for the shirt hooked to a big 

and floating, puffy pink heart. 

 

Leigh: At first glance I swear that apron reads "Pattinson"! 

Would have been a nice touch *winks*

 

Things got pretty heated between us when I told him
he wasn't folding the towels right. Then he mumbled something
about living for over a century and knowing how to fold stinkin' towels.
Pffft! Stubborn vampires.

Leigh: I totally think he's lying... as if Edward has ever folded towels 

in his life!  He'd totally have Esme do that shit for him. 

You're forgetting that he was a 108 year old still living with his parents?!

Mumma's boy....

 

Errrr.... the look on his face scared me when I told him that, so I sent him
the pink and puffy heart again, then walked away.

 

Leigh: Oooh he does look extra brooding. 

*Hides behind the puffy heart*
Sometimes I wish cardboard Robward had a better sense of humour. 

If he did he would think to rotate that arrow backwards about 45' 

and say YOU missed a spot. Hehe.

 

However, Robward did enjoy rubbing... er, scrubbing himself.

 

Leigh: *Snort* Is that a roll of paper towel in his pocket, 

or is he just happy to see you?
Err, himself?

 

P.E. complained about feathers going up his bum, and
Sparkleward worried about his hair. Dude
seriously needs to lay off of the hairspray,
the flakes were all over my table.
Gross.

Leigh: Eww. Although Sparkleward's hair does look especially styled...

what brand does he use??

Robward wasn't particularly happy with me hiding out in the
tub as I waited for this exact moment. I just knew he was
sneaking into the bathroom to read Tay tay's interviews.

Vamps and their awesome eyesight... I had to
use the night-vision option on the
camera for this one.

Leigh: This one totally gives me the giggles. 

Poor guy has no privacy with you around, marie! 

I think he's studying TayTay's workout tips... next thing you 

know he'll be doing push ups in between wash cycles!

 

I guess me spying on him in the bathroom was the end
of the line for Robward. Oh yeah, Rob, you're
REAL scary... you've got me
shakin' in my boots.

 

Leigh: This is one of my favourite pics.

He's rebelling, watch out he might try to burn his apron next!

*snickers*
He's not too happy with me.

 

Anyway, he slammed the door as we walked out of the house
and was gone for quite some time. Obviously I was beginning 

to worry, so I went out to search for him.  Didn't want a 

dog lifting a leg on HIS cardboard leg, or something 

worse since he can't defend himself...

WTF?!?! I walk outside to the tree and find Rob's Girl

getting all Spider Monkey-ish on Robward's back.

Worse.... definitely worse.
*grumbles*
Robward, that cheating whore.

Leigh: *Puts an arm around marie*

Don't worry too much, he doesn't exactly look thrilled to be there.
Or is looking angry becuase he got caught??

If that's the case he's a cheating bastard. 

*throws a rock at him*

 

As you can clearly see, I was quite shocked by Robward's betrayal.
Yet, my little sis could have cared less.
The same sis who asked if her hands were going
to be famous since we nominated her skinny, little self
to stand behind Robward for all these pictures that
were going to be featured on my blog.
She's such a champ.
I love her.

Leigh: Yay for your sis! She's awesome for indulging in your 

craziness and bringing us these laughs. 

 

After all was said and done, Robward agreed to never scare me like
that again. Then he jumped out of the tree sulking and walked
back home. Feeling smug, I followed him.

*whispers*
He "pretended" to be asleep, my guess is so that I couldn't put
him back to work for the night. I played nice and let him be...
until next time.

 

Leigh: Can I come snuggle too?? It's lookes super cozy in there...

Stayed tuned for whatever crazy shenanigans we put 

Robward up to next time.
*winks*

Too-dah-loo,

Mutha Fuckaaaaaahs!